When the wife cheats

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Regardless of the order, those feelings will all surface and need to be dealt with. So what things should you do if your wife has cheated? Yes, the why does matter and understanding that will help you figure out what to do now that you know your wife has cheated on you. The reason she cheated will vary wildly from woman to woman. There is no single reason why a woman cheats, or anyone for that matter.

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Cheating is clearly a sign of trouble in the relationship. You will need to understand it in order to fix things. Ultimately, however, cheating has less to do with you as a partner and more to do with her personal failings.

A husband comes home early to find his wife cheating with another man. His reaction breaks my heart

Figuring out the actual reasons why it happened is a process though. And it is an important piece when you are determining what to do when your wife has been caught cheating.

It will, however, help you as a couple figure out why you have ended up in this situation. Cheating does not have to be the end of a marriage, although people often assume that it does. Not necessarily. As mentioned, cheating does not have to be the end of your marriage. Surviving infidelity is possible.

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It could actually be the beginning of a healing and growing process. And while it is not the ideal way to figure out that your marriage is in trouble, it certainly leaves no doubt. If you are in the unfortunate circumstance of having to figure out what to do when your wife has cheated on you, take heart in the fact that many relationships have been able to get past an affair. It is not an easy task though. You will both need to be committed to the work it will take to bring things back to a healthy place.


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Getting to that place and reconnecting can take time. Another recalled the jolt she felt when her phone buzzed and her husband was standing nearby, never learning her secret.

Female infidelity remains both widely condemned and highly misunderstood. Three recent books challenge the cultural myth that women are inherently monogamous and shine a light on the motivations wives have when they step out of their marriages. Contraception, earning power, increased independence and digital connections have all opened a door for women looking beyond their marriages.

Walker, an assistant professor of sociology at Missouri State University, interviewed 46 women between the ages of 24 and 65 using Ashley Madison, the dating website catered to adulterers. She produced a comprehensive and surprising portrait of the female cheater. In their extramarital affairs, women spoke of relinquishing the structured roles and expectations of good wife and good mother.

The infidelity served as a release valve. She and others are now asking what female adultery means for the future of commitment. Here, four Canadian women — all of whom chose not to use their full names to protect the privacy of their families — share why they chose to look outside their marriages and how they experienced their double lives.

Deborah, 64, described her marriage as two people living "parallel lives. Sex was infrequent.

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An unexpected infatuation with the husband of a close friend sped things up dramatically. I could not resist it. Complicating the matter was this: the other man was caring for his own wife, who had suffered a traumatic brain injury. As he turned to Deborah, a mutual friend, for guidance, one conversation abruptly shifted the energy between them. Tentatively, they began a long-distance relationship, she in Canada, he in France. I found it virtually impossible to think about anybody else.

She eventually divulged her affair to her husband and left the marriage. Two of her three children felt deeply betrayed; it took years to repair these relationships. Unfaithful wives are often conflicted. Many say they had no intention of hurting or even abandoning their husbands, even as they betrayed them. Lisa Kelly, a registered psychotherapist who counsels couples in Toronto, said these women often grapple with "a mixture of guilt, rationalization, excitement, attachment and indecision that culminates in overall angst. When Melissa, a year-old Toronto woman, discovered that her husband had an Ashley Madison account, she signed up for one too.

Theirs had been a year-long marriage with an orgasm disparity: plenty for him and little for her, Melissa said.


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With her husband completely tuned out, Melissa logged on and embarked on a four-year, long-distance affair with another married man. The infidelity turned out to be a powerful catalyst.

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Melissa initiated a divorce, which stunned her husband. Bucking gender stereotypes, Melissa is one in a subset of women that feels deeply entitled to their affairs. To give you a better overall experience, we want to provide relevant ads that are more useful to you. For example, when you search for a film, we use your search information and location to show the most relevant cinemas near you.

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